so...this guy is walking around Walmart in a nice Kenneth Cole Coat, just browsing around. He picks up some head and shoulders 2 n' 1 shampoo and conditioner for dry scalp'ness. He presses on into the following isles. He hears some giggling from behind him, he turns and its just some couple browsing the same isles, the male is this formidable Samoan guy (well they are all kind of big huh?) and the female is this stalky Mexican (similar to the scary mexican chick from Operation Repo). Any who, shortly after the coated man enters the shaving product isle to check out some razors...mind you this guy has little or no facial hair...bad move number 1...He looks at the price for the replaceable razor heads that he needs...HOLY SHIT nearly 8 dollars for 4!!!!!
"Fuck that the guy says in his head..." He grabs the razorheads and places them in his coat pocket. Pretty badassly. The guy gets a new candle and some v-necks and gets in the checkout line, with a smirk as if to say to the world, "fuck capitalism, fuck the monster that is Walmart!" The cashier says, "that'll be $24.24 please" for the items purchased...
In the background the coated thief hears a faint "yay-e-yay-e!!", kind of like what Ice Cube does in "We Be Clubbin'"...The coated man thinks nothing of the Samoan guy who made the sound.
The sweet thief makes his great escape towards the exit and within two steps ,the fucking Repo-Lady nabs his ass and the Samoan dude follows them both into a sketchy room where they proceed in a routine fashion..removing me...i mean... the low-life of his "hot" razors. "What you deedn't see me?" the Samoan guy said. In the crooks mind he thought. "what a dumb fucking question...if I saw you I wouldn't have lifted the razors you fucker" "Seat down on the bench...blah blah blah" The Mexi-Repo one says in the background, with her sweet MExican accent...sitting in front of a Gateway computer, "he's fucking lucky". The somoan says, "you fucking lucky broda" and fills out a form that says the thief will be receiving a fine in the mail within 6-8 weeks...the fine ranges from $50-$500.00 "don't do it man, don't steal no'more" in his broken English...with the same smirk I mutter "I won't secret shopper...thanks"...then as I leave im approached from a lady thats asking if im registered to vote, so I can sign something that will legalize pot (not gonna happen meth lady), but really is just trying to get a bigger paycheck...
What an uncool moment...I rarely even shave...but I did it on principalities man!!!! 8 dollars for what??!!
oh well...
Giant Walmart -1
Daniel the Uncool-0
-bones
"Fuck that the guy says in his head..." He grabs the razorheads and places them in his coat pocket. Pretty badassly. The guy gets a new candle and some v-necks and gets in the checkout line, with a smirk as if to say to the world, "fuck capitalism, fuck the monster that is Walmart!" The cashier says, "that'll be $24.24 please" for the items purchased...
In the background the coated thief hears a faint "yay-e-yay-e!!", kind of like what Ice Cube does in "We Be Clubbin'"...The coated man thinks nothing of the Samoan guy who made the sound.
The sweet thief makes his great escape towards the exit and within two steps ,the fucking Repo-Lady nabs his ass and the Samoan dude follows them both into a sketchy room where they proceed in a routine fashion..removing me...i mean... the low-life of his "hot" razors. "What you deedn't see me?" the Samoan guy said. In the crooks mind he thought. "what a dumb fucking question...if I saw you I wouldn't have lifted the razors you fucker" "Seat down on the bench...blah blah blah" The Mexi-Repo one says in the background, with her sweet MExican accent...sitting in front of a Gateway computer, "he's fucking lucky". The somoan says, "you fucking lucky broda" and fills out a form that says the thief will be receiving a fine in the mail within 6-8 weeks...the fine ranges from $50-$500.00 "don't do it man, don't steal no'more" in his broken English...with the same smirk I mutter "I won't secret shopper...thanks"...then as I leave im approached from a lady thats asking if im registered to vote, so I can sign something that will legalize pot (not gonna happen meth lady), but really is just trying to get a bigger paycheck...
What an uncool moment...I rarely even shave...but I did it on principalities man!!!! 8 dollars for what??!!
oh well...
Giant Walmart -1
Daniel the Uncool-0
-bones
No comments:
Post a Comment