she'll myspace me back one day.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I hate T.V. and all but...
I really want to talk to her...like about sex baby...lets talk about you and me...nah na na nah na...
she'll myspace me back one day.
she'll myspace me back one day.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Walmart is fucking serious...
so...this guy is walking around Walmart in a nice Kenneth Cole Coat, just browsing around. He picks up some head and shoulders 2 n' 1 shampoo and conditioner for dry scalp'ness. He presses on into the following isles. He hears some giggling from behind him, he turns and its just some couple browsing the same isles, the male is this formidable Samoan guy (well they are all kind of big huh?) and the female is this stalky Mexican (similar to the scary mexican chick from Operation Repo). Any who, shortly after the coated man enters the shaving product isle to check out some razors...mind you this guy has little or no facial hair...bad move number 1...He looks at the price for the replaceable razor heads that he needs...HOLY SHIT nearly 8 dollars for 4!!!!!
"Fuck that the guy says in his head..." He grabs the razorheads and places them in his coat pocket. Pretty badassly. The guy gets a new candle and some v-necks and gets in the checkout line, with a smirk as if to say to the world, "fuck capitalism, fuck the monster that is Walmart!" The cashier says, "that'll be $24.24 please" for the items purchased...
In the background the coated thief hears a faint "yay-e-yay-e!!", kind of like what Ice Cube does in "We Be Clubbin'"...The coated man thinks nothing of the Samoan guy who made the sound.
The sweet thief makes his great escape towards the exit and within two steps ,the fucking Repo-Lady nabs his ass and the Samoan dude follows them both into a sketchy room where they proceed in a routine fashion..removing me...i mean... the low-life of his "hot" razors. "What you deedn't see me?" the Samoan guy said. In the crooks mind he thought. "what a dumb fucking question...if I saw you I wouldn't have lifted the razors you fucker" "Seat down on the bench...blah blah blah" The Mexi-Repo one says in the background, with her sweet MExican accent...sitting in front of a Gateway computer, "he's fucking lucky". The somoan says, "you fucking lucky broda" and fills out a form that says the thief will be receiving a fine in the mail within 6-8 weeks...the fine ranges from $50-$500.00 "don't do it man, don't steal no'more" in his broken English...with the same smirk I mutter "I won't secret shopper...thanks"...then as I leave im approached from a lady thats asking if im registered to vote, so I can sign something that will legalize pot (not gonna happen meth lady), but really is just trying to get a bigger paycheck...
What an uncool moment...I rarely even shave...but I did it on principalities man!!!! 8 dollars for what??!!
oh well...
Giant Walmart -1
Daniel the Uncool-0
-bones
"Fuck that the guy says in his head..." He grabs the razorheads and places them in his coat pocket. Pretty badassly. The guy gets a new candle and some v-necks and gets in the checkout line, with a smirk as if to say to the world, "fuck capitalism, fuck the monster that is Walmart!" The cashier says, "that'll be $24.24 please" for the items purchased...
In the background the coated thief hears a faint "yay-e-yay-e!!", kind of like what Ice Cube does in "We Be Clubbin'"...The coated man thinks nothing of the Samoan guy who made the sound.
The sweet thief makes his great escape towards the exit and within two steps ,the fucking Repo-Lady nabs his ass and the Samoan dude follows them both into a sketchy room where they proceed in a routine fashion..removing me...i mean... the low-life of his "hot" razors. "What you deedn't see me?" the Samoan guy said. In the crooks mind he thought. "what a dumb fucking question...if I saw you I wouldn't have lifted the razors you fucker" "Seat down on the bench...blah blah blah" The Mexi-Repo one says in the background, with her sweet MExican accent...sitting in front of a Gateway computer, "he's fucking lucky". The somoan says, "you fucking lucky broda" and fills out a form that says the thief will be receiving a fine in the mail within 6-8 weeks...the fine ranges from $50-$500.00 "don't do it man, don't steal no'more" in his broken English...with the same smirk I mutter "I won't secret shopper...thanks"...then as I leave im approached from a lady thats asking if im registered to vote, so I can sign something that will legalize pot (not gonna happen meth lady), but really is just trying to get a bigger paycheck...
What an uncool moment...I rarely even shave...but I did it on principalities man!!!! 8 dollars for what??!!
oh well...
Giant Walmart -1
Daniel the Uncool-0
-bones
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Fucking Funny Moment...
So we watched Portugal. The Man play at The Glasshouse a week or so ago and Tim, Kenny, and myself head back to Johnsons house and we are pretty wasted. Kenny passes out in the living room earlier than all of us. When we finally decide to leave (at 4am) we walk to the living room to wake Kenny...
now...a little information....we have been quoting a line from The Departed, the line comes early on in the film when Sgt. Dignam (Mark Wahlberg) and Queenan (Martin Sheen) are briefing Billy Costigan (Leo Dicaprifuckingawesomeassactor) on his undercover work.
Anyhow, we are leaving Johnsons house and Tim farts on a sleeping Kenny and says, "Whats the matter smartass you don't know any Shakespeare?"....guess you had to be there...or have to be us.
Anyhow watch the video here....fast forward the marker to 4:35 seconds....hilarity ensues. to me.
now...a little information....we have been quoting a line from The Departed, the line comes early on in the film when Sgt. Dignam (Mark Wahlberg) and Queenan (Martin Sheen) are briefing Billy Costigan (Leo Dicaprifuckingawesomeassactor) on his undercover work.
Anyhow, we are leaving Johnsons house and Tim farts on a sleeping Kenny and says, "Whats the matter smartass you don't know any Shakespeare?"....guess you had to be there...or have to be us.
Anyhow watch the video here....fast forward the marker to 4:35 seconds....hilarity ensues. to me.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sorry Hardcore but....
your flame is running out of Oxygen.
I have always respected hardcore music, I love the stuff. I respect the old stuff and the new experimental type shit but...
(and I speak for I.E., Southern CA)
...dance music came back and wiped it the fuck out. It is just funny talking to the guys that were into the hardcore scene, they were in the bands, with the gym shorts on, some were Christians kicking the shit out of each other, some were straight edge...i fucking hate that, chest pounding, with the cookie-cut-leg and arm movements... now they are all dancing their little legs away to Robot Music. Now there is something else coming, that is removing this dance/electro fad...I just don't know what it is....I hope its me.
-Daniel
I have always respected hardcore music, I love the stuff. I respect the old stuff and the new experimental type shit but...
(and I speak for I.E., Southern CA)
...dance music came back and wiped it the fuck out. It is just funny talking to the guys that were into the hardcore scene, they were in the bands, with the gym shorts on, some were Christians kicking the shit out of each other, some were straight edge...i fucking hate that, chest pounding, with the cookie-cut-leg and arm movements... now they are all dancing their little legs away to Robot Music. Now there is something else coming, that is removing this dance/electro fad...I just don't know what it is....I hope its me.
R.I.Pieces
-Daniel
10 Weeks Left
Just ten more weeks until I get this B.A. in Mass Communications. I figured I have been in College for 5 years now and its about that time...where I move on...make some cash-flow, get my grind on, makin' dem In's, and all that fluff.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?
-Daniel
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?
-Daniel
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
What Hands Are For?
What are they? The strangest group of guys i've ever played with. I am amazed when we put songs together because of how much it does not make sense. We are alcoholic, college-bound, druggy, with over-the-top-humor, and a habit of being lazy. Yet, when we sit and write complete songs, you'd think the product was made by serious dudes with leather jackets and nice leather loafs. None of us understand how this works,but I think its what keeps us moving as a band. If we were making outrageously gay hardcore, or shitty post-punk music we would have noticed by now (or maybe not).
Loud Ass, to me was a good start, a well-rounded platform to jump into the music scene. It contained heavy pop elements, some screaming for the tough kids, and some unique composition. It could be played anywhere and was.
Now I know i'm tooting my own horn hear but I think it deserves to be fucking tooted. Our current CD "...please believe me." is set to release in the Fall and it sounds so absurd (in the good way). The songs flip the camera lens to the artist. The songs are reflective of who we are as individuals, and my infamous self-absorbed personality. I made a lot of religious references, a lot of "me" jokes, a lot of "your fucking band sucks, and robot music is gay references" and there is even a drinking anecdote...you'll enjoy.
I wish you could see my excited face I am making right now.
-Daniel
Loud Ass, to me was a good start, a well-rounded platform to jump into the music scene. It contained heavy pop elements, some screaming for the tough kids, and some unique composition. It could be played anywhere and was.
Now I know i'm tooting my own horn hear but I think it deserves to be fucking tooted. Our current CD "...please believe me." is set to release in the Fall and it sounds so absurd (in the good way). The songs flip the camera lens to the artist. The songs are reflective of who we are as individuals, and my infamous self-absorbed personality. I made a lot of religious references, a lot of "me" jokes, a lot of "your fucking band sucks, and robot music is gay references" and there is even a drinking anecdote...you'll enjoy.
I wish you could see my excited face I am making right now.
-Daniel
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Gremlins vs Critters...
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Growing up I was fucking awesome...I WAS fucking awesome not IT was fucking awesome...I mean
Two of such films have always stood out to me more than the rest…
Gremlins and Critters…
…but what if….just what if …these two vicious other-worldly creatures, for some crazy cosmic reason met up…and began to fight…who would be the victor?
Gremlin Info:
1. Gizmo is the originator (fuzzy good one, resembles an ex-from middle school).
2. If you get this cute thing wet, clones will blister and shoot off its back.
3. They are very light sensitive. Bright light bright light!-eventually kills them.
4. Now! The last but most crucial bit of info, DO NOT FEED THEM PAST MIDNIGHT! They turn into the green malicious bastards you might recall most…
Critter Info:
- They are illegal aliens, called “Krites”
- They are hungry and horny.
- Individually they can roll into tight balls (as a hedgehog) and has a group they can roll into a large pernicious sphere.
- Critters have spines, that can be used as sleep rendering projectiles but once barb is removed, the victim awakens. Fucking nuts right?
Now, I’ve drunkishly proposed this battle to friends and they all agree that Gremlins would win the fight. I rea
lly wish I could argue but I agree…it might go like this…
It’d have to be dark, and Gizmo is hammered drunk. He’s already this clumsy ball of fur who sings like a fucking dream. Anyways, so Giz is just dead drunk…Asian drunk, and he is walking home from The Redfox Bar. He staggers around the corner near Marshall and E St. and an 84’ Regal pulls up next to Gizmo and its full of Critters. Gizmo freaks out …just jumps into the gutter wetting himself with whatever dingy water creeks through the gutter. Now there are about 15 Gizmos and 15 Critters, with knives, brass knuckles and bottles of Makers Marker…The Gizmo’s run into the nearby Meat Market followed by a small army of rolling balls of spikes and teeth. Gizmos consume a bunch of Carne Asada and they begin turning into Gremlins. Now its these two mean groups of monsters facing off…bloods and crip type shit. Gizmo, takes a shot of cheap tequila and what happens next usually changes from person to person…what I heard was at nights end, there was a lot of drunk Gremlims and lot of sleeping Gremlins in the darkness of the Carniceria. Critters could only do so much as the Gremlins and Gizmo’s doused themselves with water and beer and the number of Gremlins increased exponentially.
…I don’t know man…I really wish this would happen.
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